Love's Strange
by Zelda2h2
Summary: (Bender OC) A Slut brings her baby to Saturday detention, where she meets a Brain, an Athlete, a Basket-Case, a Princess and a Criminal. They were brainwashed at the beginning, and at the end they were the Breakfast Club. But somewhere in the middle...the Criminal and the Slut fall in love. Hey, Love's Strange.
1. Introduction

Introduction

"… **and these children that you spit on,**

**as they try to change their worlds are**

**immune to your consultations. They're **

**quite aware of what they're going through..."**

** -David Bowie**

Saturday…March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois. 60062.

Dear Mr. Vernon…

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a while Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong, what we did was wrong. But we think that you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care?

You see us as you want to see us…in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athelete, a basket case, a princess, a slut and a criminal. Correct?

That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning.

We were brainwashed…

Hello all. So I'm just testing this out, I can't promise a bunch of updates. I'm only really writing when I have spare time (so very rarely) but I like this fic. There are a lot of BenderxOc fics that I don't like the Oc's, just because they either steal all Claire's lines, or are just generally bitchy and don't fit their stereotype. Bothersome….

Anyway, review for chapter one. Tell me what you think?

Lots of love!

-Zelda2h2


	2. Chapter 1: Meeting the Delinquents

Chapter 1: Meeting the Delinquents

A piercing wail was what woke up Charlotte Grayson that Saturday morning. With a quiet sigh the seventeen year old squinted at the red blazing numbers on her clock and wanted nothing more than to crawl back beneath her covers and go to sleep.

It was already five forty-nine, not that long until she had to be at school to serve her detention. Charlotte- or Charlie, as she preferred- got up at went to her baby's cradle. Little one month old Jonathan Grayson stopped his tearless wail and giggled up at his mother with childlike innocence.

Charlie smiled at her son's toothless smile and bright blue eyes before picking him up and cooing. "You get to go to school with Mommy today." She tried to sound chipper.

Usually her neighbor, a lady in her sixties by the name of Mrs. Matthew's, took care of Johnny when Charlie was at school. But she had left for a visit to her grandkids home in Algoma the day before.

Charlie fed Johnny, changed him, dressed him in a blue onesie and popped him in his carrier. She then dressed herself in a black cotton Spandex dress with off the shoulder straps of about 3 inches in width, and stopped just above her knees.

She felt she deserved it, most of her baby weight was already gone, and Charlie didn't mind the extra curves.

She brushed her dirty blonde hair, teasing it a bit and holding it together with a bit of hairspray. She didn't put on any makeup, and strapped on her black Mary Jane's.

Charlie put on her black pea coat, and wrapped Johnny in his own Winnie the Pooh blanket. Throwing a plain yellow blanket over the carrier, Charlie grabbed her backpack that serviced as her purse and Johnny's diaper bag before exiting her shabby apartment and locking the door.

It was six fifteen, and the beginning of what she guessed would be a very long day.

Claire Standish was the first to arrive in her father's BMW. She glared at the school with obvious dislike.

"I can't believe you can't get me out of this…" she complained to her father. "I mean, it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm defective or anything…" Claire continued to pout.

"I'll make it up to you…" her father promised. Though in his mind he knew that he'd only do it because his wife wouldn't want him to. "Honey, ditching class to go shopping doesn't make you defective. Have a good day."

Claire rolled her eyes, got out of the car and walked up the school's front steps.

Brian Johnson sat in his mother's car with her and his little sister, listening to the two.

"Is this the first time or the last time we do this?" His mother snapped.

"Last…" Brian said, clearly upset. But his mother didn't seem to think he was upset enough.

"Well get in there and use the time to your advantage."

"Mom, we're not supposed to study; we just have to sit there and do nothing."

"Well mister you figure out a way to study!" Mrs. Johnson commanded.

"Yeah!" Brian's little sister piped in annoyingly.

"Well, go!" the woman shooed her son out of the car.

Brian got out of the car and walked up the steps with his shoulders slumped.

Andy Clark sat with his head hung in his father's truck. For one of the few times in his life, Mister Clark was at a loss for words.

"Hey," the older man said finally. "I screwed around…guys screw around, there's nothing wrong with that. Except you got caught, sport…"

"Yeah," Andy said quietly. "Mom already reamed me, alright?"

In a more angry tone, his father said; "You want to miss a match? You wanna blow your ride? Now no school's gonna give a scholarship to a discipline case."

Without a word, Andy stood and walked into the building.

John Bender walked through the parking lot. Through his dark tinted sunglasses he saw a girl with blonde hair and a black coat jog up the steps to the school. Slung over her forearm was a baby carrier.

Great, just what Saturday detention needed; a whiny, slobbering, crib midget.

Bender continued walking, even when a car sped out in front of him. As he expected, the driver slammed on their brakes as he kept going.

Allison Reynolds stepped out of said car, and hesitated to the front passenger window. Just as she got there, however, the car sped off as quickly as it came.

Allison looked up at the school and sighed quietly.


	3. Chapter 2: Principal Dick

Chapter 2: Principal Dick

The library had six tables near the entrance, all in two rows of three. A red headed Preppy girl sat at the front table, with a jock next to her.

A nerdy looking boy came in next and sat behind them. Charlie soon followed and took a seat at the front desk across from Prep and Jock's. She could feel everyone's confused eyes on her when she placed Johnny's carrier on the table next to her and removed the yellow blanket, along with her pea coat.

An angry looking boy breezed by the reception desk, touching everything within reach and even pocketing a few items. Charlie had seen him before, he hung around a few of the other pot heads in the school. Sure, he was cute, but she wouldn't dare talk to him.

He'd never notice her, especially when she had to have Johnny around her. Who cares about the Slut with a kid?

The angry looking boy looked at the nerd and pointed to the table across from the one he sat at. Without a word, the boy took the hint and moved. The angry looking one sat down and put his feet up.

The last to walk in was a girl dressed in head to toe black. She took a seat at the back of the room, behind the nerdy boy.

The Preppy Princess and the Jock looked at each other and snickered. Nerd Boy just looked curious and confused before turning away.

The girl in black caught Charlie's eye, and the blonde girl smiled warmly. The brunette returned it sheepishly when the door slammed open.

In walked Richard Vernon, one of the meanest men Charlie had the displeasure of knowing. He was a strictly by-the-book kind of man, so of course almost every teenager hated him.

"Well, well…" He faked sounding impressed. "Here we are! I want to congratulate you for being on time…"

The Princess raised her hand and said something, but Charlie had turned her attention to Johnny who was beginning to babble.

"Sh, sh." Charlie whispered, letting the baby grab her finger and stick it in his mouth.

Princess just spoke over them, but Charlie felt someone's eyes on her. She ignored them, and looked up at Vernon spoke again.

"It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways…"

There was the sound of someone hocking, and Charlie looked back at the angry boy who spat in the air and caught it in his mouth.

Sure it was nasty, but also pretty well done. Princess grimaced and looked like she was going to gag.

"…And you may not talk." Vernon continued, glancing at her, then at the nerd who was about to move over one seat. "You will not move from these seats."

Vernon then glared at the angry boy, and pointed at him. "And you will not sleep." He moved the chair the boy had been resting his feet on. "Alright, people. We're gonna try something different today. We are going to write an essay- of no less than a thousand words- describing to me who you think you are."

"Is this a test?" the angry boy asked, but Vernon ignored him and began passing out papers.

When he handed Charlie hers, she asked him; "Sir, when you say 'we will be writing an essay', does that mean you'll be joining us? Because I could give you several vocabulary words to describe who you are."

Falling for her sweet smile, Vernon asked; "And what might those be, Miss Grayson?"

"Rude, conceited, arrogant, douche bag." Charlie counted them off with her fingers. "But if some of those are too big for you, I know smaller ones-"

"That will be all, Grayson." Vernon glared. The angry boy was chuckling quite loudly, and even the nerdy boy smirked.

"And when I say essay," Vernon continued. "I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Am I clear, Mister Bender?"

"Crystal." The angry boy, 'Bender', drawled.

"Good. Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. Maybe you'll even- decide whether or not you care to return."

Nerdy boy raised his hand and stood up. "You know, I can answer that right now sir…That'd be a 'no', no for me, 'cause-"

"Sir down, Johnson." Vernon ordered.

"Thank you sir…" Nerd boy 'Johnson' said meekly.

"My office," the principal pointed. "Is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised…" he directed his glance at Bender. "Any questions?"

"Yeah, I got a question." The boy replied. "Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?"

Charlie didn't muffle her giggle in time.

"I'll give you the answer to that question, Mister Bender," Vernon glared. "Next Saturday. And you as well, Miss Grayson, since you're so curious. Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns."

Vernon left, and there was a moment of silence where Johnny giggled.

"That man," Bender said slowly. "Is a brownie hound…"

There was a loud snapping noise that made everyone look at the quiet girl. She sat facing away from everyone, biting her nails.

Most just looked disgusted, Charlie didn't mind that much, and Bender saw this as a time for a comment.

"Keep eating your hand and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch."

The girl spat a piece of nail at him in response and Charlie smirked. "This from the guy that spits in the air and then catches it."

Bender turned his glance to Charlie, he didn't smirk back, but it was there in his eyes. "This from the girl that popped out a kid at seventeen."

The comment stung, but Charlie kept her smirk on her face and didn't skip a beat. "At least the product of that is cute. Spit's pretty gross, man."

Bender shrugged and looked back at the quiet girl. "I've seen you before, you know." Then he looked back to Charlie. "You too. Y'know, when you were fat and stuff."

She glanced up and saw Vernon look out his office door, and then smiled down at Johnny. She pulled him out of his carried and bounced him lightly. Out of the corner of her eye, Charlie saw the Jock and Princess staring, but because they (like most people) found the baby irresistible.

"What's its name?" the Jock asked.

"_His,_" Charlie emphasized. "Name is Jonathan."

"Hm?" Bender looked up- apparently just finished taking off his coat.

"What?" she asked.

"You said my name." he raised an eyebrow.

Charlie thought for a moment. "Your name's John?"

"Yeah…" Bender looked incredibly confused, until Charlie pointed to the baby.

"So is his."

"Ah." Bender lost interest and crumpled up the paper that was meant for his essay. He threw it at Princess's head, but missed by a few inches. He then began to sing the guitar riff from Sunshine of Your Love by Cream.

"Nah nah nah nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, nah."

"I can't believe this is really happening to me." Princess muttered.

Bender stopped singing abruptly. "Oh shit! What're we s'posed to do if we hafta take a piss?"

Princess crinkled her nose in disgust. "Please…"

"If you gotta go," Bender unzipped his fly. "You gotta go!"

"Oh my God!" Princess shrieked in disgust.

"Hey, you're not urinating in here, man!" The Jock snapped.

"Don't talk! Don't talk! It makes it crawl back up!" Bender said urgently.

Charlie squinted back tears as she held in her laugh. That was, of course, until Jockstrap started talking again.

"You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor."

Charlie rolled her eyes as Bender gasped comically. "You're pretty sexy when you get angry…grr." He turned to Johnson. "Hey homeboy."

The nerd pointed at himself with his pen to clarify.

"Why don't you go close that door." Bender suggested. "We can get the Prom Queen…impregnated."

Princess just glared at him, and the Jockstrap exclaimed. "Hey!"

"Maybe Mommy over there can give her some tips-" Bender continued.

"Hey!" Jockstrap repeated.

"What?"

"If I lose my temper, you're totaled man!"

"Totally?" Bender smirked.

"Totally." Jockstrap glared.

"Why don't you just shut up!" Princess yelled. "Nobody here is interested."

"Really!" Jockstrap agreed. "Butt face."

"Hey, Sporto!" Bender called. "What'd you do to get in here?"

"He forgot to wash his jock." Charlie smirked, and winked at the Jockstrap.

"Excuse me, fellas?" Johnson stuttered nervously. "I think we should just write our papers-"

"Look," Jockstrap addressed Bender. "Just because you live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass, so knock it off."

Bender mocked hurt. "It's a free country."

"I'm sorry but," Charlie laughed coldly. "All I've heard from you are threats. Ever heard of 'Ask and Ye shall receive'? Also, how come when he unzipped his fly, you and him," she motioned to Johnson. "The only other guys in the room, were the only ones to look?"

"He's just doing it to get a rise out of you." Princess assured Jockstrap. "Just ignore him."

"Sweets, you couldn't ignore me if you tried." Bender smirked. "And from what Mommy just pointed out, there are a few choice places on Sporto that are 'rising' because of me-" He winked at Jockstrap, who clenched his fist, and Charlie could see him biting his cheek.

"So…" Bender said suddenly, his tone changing from bored to mock-prep. "So! Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend?" No answer. "Steady dates?" Still nothing. "Lo-vers?" Bender drawled, and then leaned in closer to Jockstrap.

"C'mon, Sporto." He pouted. "Level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?"

Princess and Jockstrap both spun around.

"Go to Hell!"

"Enough!" they screamed loud enough for Vernon to have to call;

"Hey! What's going on in there?"


	4. Authoress's Interruption

Authoress Interruption

Hello all, sorry to interrupt. This is meant for those that reviewed on chapters one through three, so if you'd like you can skip over this. But I ask that if you reviewed you please read.

So I feel like your reviews need replies, but a lot of you logged in as Guests so there's no way I can contact you. So if you don't have an account, please gimme a nickname or something so this doesn't get confusing? Thanks ^.^

XxScarletZangetsuxX, AvidMovieFan16, and Guest (1) Thanks for your reviews and encouragement :) Guest (1), I hope that you like her the more you get to know her. I'm having a ton of fun writing Charlie.

Guest (2) and Stevie- here's an update just for you :)

Guest (3) I was worried that someone else had used the Slut. I'm glad to hear that's not the case.

Guest (4) aka A Fan: I wrote up a nice back story for Charlie to share (eventually) that explains her Slut status and Johnny and whatnot. Don't think about it too much- you may accidentally ruin it for yourself ;)

Guest (5) I know it must be tiring to read the _same_ Breakfast Club plot over and over again. I do plan on going past the first Saturday detention and delving further into their lives. The problem is that the first Saturday plays such a huge role. I am adding a few scenes of my own, too. But I can't stress how much I love you for giving me actual feedback to expand my writing upon. I mean, reviews asking for more are nice, but nothing means more to me than getting polite tips and ideas from readers.

Long winded, I know. But here are a couple more chapters for you guys. I honestly wasn't expecting this many readers. I must be better than I thought.

Lots of Love!

Yours truly, Zelda2h2


	5. Chapter 3:Consider It a Social Situation

Chapter 3: Consider It a Social Situation

Everyone looked at each other, the Jockstrap turned away and muttered "Scumbag!" to himself.

Bender stood up and sauntered over to the railing near Princess and sat on it. "What do you say we close that door? We can't have any kind of party with Vernon checking us out every few seconds."

"Well, y'know, the door's s'posed to stay open…" Johnson tried meekly.

"So what?"

"Why don't you just shut up?!" Jockstrap snapped.

_Oh boy…_ Charlie thought, bouncing Johnny. _This isn't gonna get good._

"There's four other people in here, you know?"

"God, you can count!" Bender marveled. "See! I knew you had to be smart to be…a wrestler." He smirked.

"Who the Hell are you to judge anybody anyway?" Jockstrap questioned.

"Really…" Princess agreed.

"You know Bender…" he mused. "You don't even count. I mean, if you disappeared forever it wouldn't make any difference. You may as well not even exist at this school."

Bender's face was a blank slate; he controlled his anger fairly well. But Charlie was past anger at this point.

"Who is he to judge?!" she demanded, standing and putting Johnny in his carrier. "Who are you to judge?! Just because someone hangs out with different people than you doesn't make them any less of a being! Oh, I'm sorry!" Charlie laughed humorlessly. "Were my words too big? Lemme try again. Ahem;"

Charlie pointed to Bender. "Him mean, but him good." She smiled like she was speaking to a toddler, and then pointed to Andy. "You snob, you no good." She shook her head and flipped off Jockstrap.

"Easy there, Mommy." Bender chuckled. "Sporto here's inspired me. Well, I'll just run right out and join the wrestling team."

Jockstrap and Princess locked eyes and giggled.

"Maybe the prep club too!" Bender continued.

"Student council…" Charlie added.

"No, they wouldn't take you." Jockstrap shook his head.

"I'm hurt." Bender pouted.

"You know why guys- why people like you knock everything?" Princess said it as if she was making some huge moral revelation.

"Oh, this should be stunning…" Bender waggled his eyebrows at Charlie.

"It's 'cause you're afraid."

Charlie snorted, and Princess shot her a glare.

"Oh God, you Richies are so smart!" Bender faked enthusiasm. "That's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities!"

"You're a big coward!"

Charlie glanced over at Johnson, who looked a little left out.

"I'm in the math club." He said to no one in particular.

"See, you're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong so you just have to dump all over it." Princess continued.

"Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it?" Bender questioned.

"Well you wouldn't know...You don't know any of us!"

Bender leaned in a bit. "Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna run out and join any of their fucking clubs."

"Hey!" Jockstrap glanced over at Johnny's carrier. "Let's watch the mouth, huh?"

"If you're worried about this one," Charlie pointed to her baby. "Don't. He hears worse at home."

And once again, Johnson felt the need to contribute. "I'm in the physics club too..."

Bender held up his index finger to Princess, "S'cuse me a sec." before turning to Johnson. "What are you babbling about?"

"Well, what I said was..." the smaller boy shifted. "I'm in the math club, the Latin club, and the physics club..." he gulped at the last one and repeated "Physics club."

Bender nodded at the information and turned back to Her Majesty. "Hey, Cherry." He addressed her, and she looked at him in disgust. "Do you belong to the physics club?"

"That's an academic club." She turned her nose up.

"So?"

"So...academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs."

"Oh but to dorks like him..." Bender grinned and pointed at Johnson. "They are." Bender then looked over at Charlie.

"Hey, Momma. What about you? Any activities catch your fancy?"

Charlie shrugged. "Up until ten months ago, I was in the Drama club."

Princess snorted which made Charlie glare. "What? Is that different than other kinds of clubs too?"

"It's not even really a club." She shrugged. "It's a place that kids and teachers go to have sex." Princess smiled cruelly. "I'll bet that's where you got knocked up." She added in a sudden burst of boldness.

Charlie bit her cheek so hard she could taste copper, but Bender beat her to a response.

"Watch it, Cherry. Momma's got some bite to her; don't wanna go messing with that." His tone was teasing, but his eyes had a hard edge that made Princess flinch back.

All the while Brian was rambling about how the physics club partied at the Hilton and something about shoes and the Twilight Zone.

"Look, you guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come right in here..." Jockstrap was surprisingly calm. "I got a meet this weekend and I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads."

Bender rolled his eyes. "Oh wouldn't that be a bite..." he let out a moan of fake agony. "Missing a whole wrestling meet!"

"Heartbreaking." Charlie pouted and then turned around to face Brian. "Hi," she said, ignoring the other two boys. "What's your name?"

"B-Brian." He muttered looking down.

Charlie stuck her hand out for him to shake. "Nice to meetcha. I'm Ch-"

She cut herself off as the words 'lobotomy' and 'tights' were uttered.

"You wear tights?" Brian asked Jockstrap.

"I don't wear tights." Jockstrap stressed. "I wear the required uniform."

"Tights..."

"Shut up!" Jockstrap tensed up.


	6. Chapter 4: The World is Screwed

Chapter 4: The World is a Screwed Up Place

The sound of footsteps could be heard; Bender quickly sat between Her Highness and Jockstrap. When Vernon went back into his office, Bender laughed and got up, walking towards the double doors that separated the library from the hallway.

"You know, there's not s'pposed to be any monkey business." Brian tried to reason.

"Young man, have you finished your paper?" Bender pointed at him, his voice stern like Vernon's.

Bender turned back to the door and began to remove the screws from the door.

"What are you gonna do?" Princess asked.

"Drop dead, I hope." _Really, Jockstrap?_ Charlie thought. _Are we in the third grade?_

Brian tried getting Bender to stop messing with school property, Charlie just laughed when the door slammed shut and Bender jogged over to her.

"For you, my lady." He took her hand and placed two screws in it before hurrying back to his seat and sitting like nothing had changed.

"That's very funny, come on, fix it!" Jockstrap commanded.

"You should really fix that!" Brian agreed.

"Am I a genius?" Bender smirked to himself and winked at Charlie.

"Brilliant." She rolled her eyes, but winked back.

"No- you're an asshole!" _Stop talking, Jockstrap._ Charlie thought.

"What a funny guy!"

"Fix the door, Bender!"

"Everyone just shh!" Bender waited a moment, Charlie could faintly hear squeaking (Vernon's shoes?) that stopped just outside of the door. He was listening.

"I've been here before." Bender continued. "I know what I'm doing."

"No!" Jockstrap snapped. "Fix the door, get up there and fix it!"

"Shut up!" Bender yelled.

"God dammit!" Vernon's tell-tale scream echoed. Sure enough the principal stormed in, bristling like an angry cat. "Why is that door closed?"

The students all stared at Vernon like he was crazy, not saying anything.

"Why is that door closed?" he asked again.

"How're we s'posed to know?" Bender shrugged. "We're not s'posed to move, right?"

Vernon turned to Princess and asked; "Why?"

"We were just sitting here." _Good on ya, Princess._ "Like we were supposed to..."

The principal looked at all of them before resting his gaze on Bender. "Who closed that door?"

Not meeting Vernon's toxic gaze, Bender replied; "I think a screw fell out of it..."

"It just closed, sir..." Jockstrap added. _Hm, good for him..._

Vernon glared at the quiet girl. "Who?"

The girl let out a squeak and slammed her head down on the desk, her hood falling over her head.

"She doesn't talk, sir..." Bender explained, unwantingly bringing Vernon's attention away from the girl and onto him.

"Give. Me. That. Screw."

"I don't have it."

"You want me to yank you outta that seat and shake it out of you?"

"I don't have it." Bender repeated. "Screws fall out all of the time. The world's an imperfect place."

"Give it to me, Bender."

"He doesn't have them." Charlie muttered, tucking said objects in between Johnny's blankets away from sight.

"Excuse me sir," Princess said so that Vernon couldn't see Charlie performing this action. "Why would anybody want to steal a screw?"

"Watch it, young lady." Vernon snapped. He then went over to the door and tried to prop it open with a folding chair.

"The door's way too heavy sir." Bender called.

With a slam, the statement was confirmed. "God dammit!" Vernon yelled from the other side, entering once more and waving a finger at Jockstrap.

"Andrew Clark, get up here."

_Aww, poor Andy._ Charlie thought.

"Come on, front and center. Let's go."

Andrew stood and walked over to Vernon.

"Hey how come Andrew gets to get up?" Bender questioned. "If he gets up, we'll all get up; it'll be anarchy!"

"Who'da thought you'd be against that, Bender?" Charlie winked. Okay, at this point she _knew_ she was flirting, but it was fun. So what the Hell?

"Hey you know me, model citizen and all that." Bender smirked at her.

"Oh definitely." Charlie agreed. "The perfect example for us all."

During this exchange, Andrew and Vernon had managed to push a large magazine rack to prop open the door. Jockstrap was in the middle of trying to get back through the blocked door.

"Well, that doesn't make leaving difficult." Charlie muttered.

"That's very clever sir." Bender called once more to Vernon. "But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir."

Vernon thought about this for a moment, before deciding to blame the idea on Andrew. "Alright, what are you doing with this? Get this outta here for God's sake! What's the matter with you? Come on!"

With more screeching and groaning the rack was pushed back.

"Why do I feel like you'd be the one to _start_ a fire?" Charlie raised an eyebrow at Bender, who merely raised a finger to his lips.

"You know the school comes equipped with fire exits on either end of the library." Brian pointed out. Bender feigned shock.

"Show Dick some respect!"

Andrew and Vernon returned to where we were all sitting. Vernon shouting at him the entire way. "Let's go...go! Get back into your seat!"

Andrew sat back down, the principal glaring at him. "I expected more from a varsity letterman."

"Oh leave him alone, Vernon." Charlie sighed. "Don't try and pin your bonehead idea on him."

Vernon turned his glare onto Charlie. "Don't I already have you here next week? Do you want another one?"

Charlie stood, clicked her heels together and saluted. "Aye aye, sir!"

"You got it. And the Saturday after that."

Charlie snapped her fingers. "Damn. I'll have to cancel my lesson on giving a shit."

"And the Saturday after that! Want more?"

"Will you try and barricade me in here then, too?"

"That's another." Vernon was gradually getting louder.

Charlie sat down with a smirk, crossing her arms in satisfaction from getting a rise from Dicky Boy.

Vernon switched from reaming Charlie to Bender. "You're not fooling anybody, Bender! The next screw that falls out is gonna be you!"

With a turn on his squeaky heel, Vernon went to leave.

Charlie eyes Bender for his response. Much to her surprise, he winked at her before muttering just loud enough for Vernon to hear; "Eat my shorts."


	7. Chapter 5 Promptly Ingest My Underwear

Principal Vernon froze and turned quickly. "What was that?"

Bender repeated himself, louder this time. "Eat. My. Shorts."

"You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister!"

"Oh Christ." Bender chuckled.

"You just bought one more right there!"

Defiance sparked in Bender's eyes. "Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm gonna gave to check my calendar!"

"Good, 'cause it's gonna be filled, we'll keep going! You want another one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here! Are you through?"

Bender looked distracted, like he was counting something in his head. "No!"

"I'm doing society a favor!"

"So?"

"Bender, stop!" Charlie hissed.

"That's another one, right now! Both of you!" Vernon shouted, then turning his attention back to Bender. "I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?"

Bender glared up at his antagonist. "Yes!"

"You got it!" Vernon sounded like he was an auctioneer selling the Mona Lisa for a zillion bucks. "You got another one, right there! That's another one, pal!"

"Cut it out!" Princess shrieked at Bender, then mouthing 'Stop'.

"You through?" Vernon questioned.

"Bender..." Charlie whispered. "John, please."

He looked at her, his eyes softening, before again falling on Vernon with actual hatred. "Not even close, _bud._"

"Good! You got one more, right there!"

"Do you really think I give a shit?"

"Another..."

Bender glared, and again Vernon asked; "You through?"

"How many is that?" the boy asked.

"That's seven, including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew he raided his closet." Brian recited.

Vernon spoke to Bender. "Now it's eight." And then turned to Brian. "You stay out of it!"

"Excuse me sir, it's seven." Brian held up his fingers.

"Shut up, Peewee!"

Charlie rose abruptly. "Don't talk to him that way!"

"Sit down, missy!" Vernon shouted.

Not liking all of the noise so close, Johnny began to wail from his carrier.

"And shut that kid up!"

Still standing, Charlie lifted her son up and began to bounce him lightly, hushing him softly while Vernon returned his attention to Bender.

"You're mine Bender. You and Grayson. For two months, I gotcha! I gotcha!"

"What can I say, we're thrilled!" Bender's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe." Vernon spat. "You know something, Bender? You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself and a little less time trying to impress people."

Charlie didn't see Vernon glance in her direction.

"You might be better off..." the principal then addressed everyone as he prepared to leave. "Alright, that's it! I'm going to be right outside those doors. The next time I hafta come in here...I'm cracking skulls!"

If he saw Bender mock him, Vernon didn't notice. He stormed out the door and as soon as it closed, Bender screamed at the top of his lungs;

"FUCK YOU!"

Charlie glanced up at the clock, it read quarter to eight. With a small huff she looked down at Johnny, who had fallen asleep soon after Vernon left. _Rules are no sleeping, hon._ She thought with a smile.

Over at his seat, Bender lit his shoe on fire with a match, and then used the flames to light his cigarette. Charlie breathed in the smell with envy. She had quit when she found out she was pregnant, but damn did that smell good.

Princess was lost in her own bubble brain, oblivious to the fact that Brian was staring at her. Andrew was goofing around with the tassles on his sweatshirt, and the quiet girl in the back was tying a string around her finger, turning it purple.

Bender put out his shoe and began playing air guitar. _Maybe he plays..._Charlie thought.

More time passed, the girl produced a beautiful landscape drawing from her bag and began working on it. Andrew was entertaining himself with paper football.

The library was so silent, the ticking of the clock grew loud and hypnotic. Charlie felt her eyelids growing heavier. Unable to resist, she put her head down and nodded off to a light sleep.

Bender looked out on the room of detention newbies. The weird girl was...well, weird. He had seen her shake her dandruff onto her drawing to make it snow. Even _he_ thought that was pushing the gross factor.

Nerd boy was just another dork that pitched a tent whenever the Princess moved. Hell, even when she _didn't_, Nerdo got hard.

Her majesty...Bender had considered her when he first came in. Lord knew he loved a challenge. But then there was Momma.

What he'd said before was true; Bender had seen her when she was with Crib Midget fat. But he'd seen her before too, and damn did he like what he saw. Tall, curvy, sexy. And then she had that slutty reputation following her. Hell, he still remembered the day he planned to ask her out.

Of course, all he really hoped for was a good lay, but she didn't show up to school. Bender waited about a week, then forgot about her. Then he saw her when he was hanging around in one of the many unused stairwells he frequented when a teacher was dumb enough to give him a hall pass.

She had burst through the door, booked it down the stairs till she nearly reached where he was near the final flight down to the basement. Then she sat and sobbed, asking 'Why me?' over and over.

Bender later found out that she had gotten herself knocked up, and the reason she was crying was because one of the jocks had 'requested her services', but she told him no, and why.

The jock didn't like her answer, so he'd punched her in the gut. Bender didn't know why, but when he heard the story he hunted down the jock after football practice and taught him a lesson about hitting girls.

Said jock was benched for the rest of the season, because his throwing arm just wasn't the same anymore. But he never hit anyone again.

This very same girl was resting her head on her desk, Crib Midget next to her. Glancing around quickly, making sure everyone else was sound asleep, Bender crept over to the carrier. What was the big deal about babies anyway? All they did was eat, shit, sleep and scream.

"You're like a miniature version of _my_ dad." He whispered, running a finger along the sleeping kids face. What he wasn't expecting was the kid's eyes to open and gaze up at him curiously.

"He's a light sleeper during the day." Momma whispered. Bender jumped a bit, not expecting her to still be awake.

Instead of making a scene, screaming 'Don't touch my baby!', she just stretched and propped her head up on her hand. "What's up?"

Bender thought for a moment. "What's your name?"

"What's yours?"

"You know it."

"Fair enough. Charlie."

"Charlie?" Bender repeated.

"Yeah, like Charlie Chaplin." She smirked lightly.

"Wow," Bender 'marvled', "Your parents sure do hate you."

She tried to hide it, but he saw Charlie flinch at his comment. There was a soft groan from behind them as Brian shifted in his sleep. From down the hall, a faint squeaking could be heard.

"You'd better sit." Charlie whispered.

"Is Charlie short for something?"

"Yes, now go sit down."

"What's it short for?"

Charlie laughed quietly and smacked the palm of her hand against her face. "Charlotte, you infuriating man, now go sit before Vernon catches you."

With a quick wink Bender traipsed back into his seat, pretending to be asleep.


	8. Chapter 6: Learned and Ignorant Fools

Later, after Johnny was changed and they were all back from the bathroom, Charlie decided that since she was in a library, she might as well read.

Being in the drama club, the study of plays was implied. So she went over to the ROS section and found Rostand's Cyrano de Bergerac.

It was a tragic tale of one sided romances, drama, death- and the power of words. Charlie had a thing for a lot of French plays. Granted the most of them were pretty tragic, but Molière had created a few comedies.

About an hour later, she was almost done when the Princess came over. "Who's Molay?" she read over Charlie's shoulder.

"Moli-_ere_." Charlie corrected. "He was a French playwright. But he's only mentioned here, this isn't one of his works."

"Uh huh..." Princess got distracted and went to sit down again.

Charlie rolled her eyes and mouthed 'whatever', glancing up at the clock. It read 10:22 am. Fantastic.

There was a long ripping sound; Bender could be seen pulling the pages from a book, while Andrew was up stretching.

"That's real intelligent." The latter muttered.

"You're right..." Bender agreed sarcastically. "It's wrong to destroy literature." _rrRRIIIPpp_

"It's such fun to read, and..." He looked at the front of the book. "Molet really pumps my nads!"

Princess, with a smug look on her face took little time to correct him. "Mol-yare."

_Wow, like you didn't just make that same mistake. _Charlie thought bitterly.

Bender stared at Princess like he was impressed for a moment, but then looked up at Charlie like he was waiting for her to say something.

" 'A learned fool is more a fool than an ignorant fool.'Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, known by his stage name, Molière." she quoted the very same author they were discussing.

Princess was shooting daggers at Charlie for stealing her thunder, when Brian added; "I love his work."

Bender tossed the rest of the pages at him and began messing with the card catalogue.

"Big deal...nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy..."

"Speak for yourself." Andrew said.

"Do you think I'd speak for you?" Bender snapped. "I don't even know your language."

Andrew turned to Princess. "Hey, you grounded tonight?"

Her majesty shrugged. "I don't know, my mom said I was...but my dad told me just to blow her off."

"Big party at Stubbies, parents are in Europe. Should be pretty wild..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, can you go?"

"I doubt it..." Princess had this _pity me_ tone of voice that already annoyed Charlie.

"How come?" Andrew asked. _No Andrew! Don't fall into her self pity trap!_

"Well, 'cause if I do what my mother tells me not to do, it's because my father says its okay. There's like this whole big monster deal, it's endless and it's a total drag. It's like, any minute, divorce..."

Princess had gotten Bender's attention; he asked her "Who do you like better?"

"What?"

"You like your old man better than your mom?"

"They're both screwed."

"No, I mean," Bender clarified. "If you had to choose between them."

"I dunno, I'd probably go live with my brother. I mean, I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me...it's like they use me to get back at each other."

"HA!" a sound no one was expecting came from the back of the room. The girl in black huffed, blowing a bit of hair from her face.

"Shut up." Princess ordered.

"You could have it worse." Charlie said to her. "Some parents care too much...others just pretend, up until the point when you need them. Then they bail. At least you know how yours feel; you don't have to live a lie and have your heart broken when it comes to light."

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Andrew dismissed Princess.

"Yeah, well if I didn't no one else would."

"Aw, you're breaking my heart." _Well said, Jockstrap._

"Sporto..." Bender warned, before turning his gaze on Charlie. "What happens when you go home? What are yours like?"

Charlie shrugged. "I dunno. I moved out."

"Any particular reason?" Bender smirked. "Or did you just not like the color of the wall paper?"

"Well, it could be that they wanted me to get an abortion." Charlie pressed a finger to her lips in thought. "Or it _could_ be that tacky yellow wallpaper. Seriously, yellow with blue flowers in a living room? Yuck."

Andrew scoffed. "Cry me a river."

"Sporto..." Bender said more firmly, jumping down from his seat to Andrew. "Do you get along with your parents?"

"Well if I say yes, I'm an idiot- right?"

"You're an idiot anyway...But if you say you get along with your parents...well, you're a liar too."

He turned to walk away; Andrew wasn't far behind when he shoved Bender. "You know something man, if we weren't in school right now I'd waste you!"

Bender pointed his middle finger to the ground. "Can you hear this? Want me to turn it up."

Brian came over and tried to be the peace keeper. "Hey fellas...I mean, I don't like my parents either. I don't...I don't get along with them...Their idea of parental compassion is just...you know, wacko."

_He's such a cutie._ Charlie thought. _Like a polite little kid lost in a mall._

"Dork..." Bender raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"You are a parent's wet dream, okay?" he started to walk away.

"Well, that's the problem!"

"Look, I can see you getting all bunched up for them making you wear those kinda clothes. But face it; you're a Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie." _There is no way he didn't just make that up. _"What would you be doing if you weren't out there making yourself a better citizen?"

"Why do you have to insult everybody?" Andrew asked.

"Loosen up, Andy." Charlie giggled. "Sticks and stones, y'know?"

"You don't get how much those things can hurt."

Charlie stood up from her seat and walked towards Andrew slowly. "Look, I understand that you're slow, but don't you _ever_ think that I don't know what it's like to be made fun of."

"I don't get why you stand up for him!" Andrew snapped. "He just sits there, making fun of everyone."

"I'm being _honest, _asshole." Bender clarified. "I would expect you to know the difference."

"Yeah, well, he's got a name!" Andrew took the conversation back to Brian.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, what's your name?"

"Brian..." the smaller boy said.

"See?" Andrew questioned.

"My condolences..." Bender walked past Princess, who was probably missing the attention.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"What's yours?" he fired back.

"Claire."

"Ka-Laire?"

"Claire. It's a family name."

"No..." Bender drawled out. "It's a fat girls name."

"Well thank you." Claire glared.

"You're welcome." Bender was loosing interest.

"I'm not fat!"

"Well, not at the present. But I could see you really pushing maximum density. You see, I'm not sure if you know this...but there are two kinds of fat people..."

Charlie stopped paying attention. Brian sat on his desk behind her, watching the baby curiously.

"Do you have any baby siblings?" she asked him, lifting Johnny up.

"Yeah, I got a sister..." Brian didn't look too thrilled about that. "My parents didn't let me hold her. Didn't want me dropping her, you know?"

Charlie thought for a moment, and then she started to hand Johnny over to the boy. "Make your arms like a cradle. Support his head! There." She smiled.

"A-am I doing it right?" Brian asked, looking at the foreign thing in his arms.

"Like you've been doing it every day of his life."

"...eaking of fat, what about her?" Claire spoke harshly to Bender, pointing at Charlie.

"What about her?" Bender asked. "Preggers doesn't count."

"Even now? She looks like she's ready to pop out another one."

"Watch it, Princess." Charlie spat.

Claire just flipped her off, which made Bender shake his head and click his tongue. "Oh...obscene finger gesture from such a pristine girl!"

"I'm not that pristine!"

Bender leaned in close. "Are you a virgin?" there was a beat of silence.

"I bet you a million dollars that you are! Let's end the suspense. Is it gonna be a _white weddin'?_"

"Why don't you just shut up?" Claire snapped. "If you want details about sex, go ask her!"

"Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth?" Bender ignored her. "Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to god your parents don't walk in?"

Claire was getting riled up. "Do you want me to puke?"

"Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"

An idea struck Charlie just as Andrew said; "Leave her alone."

"What about you, Bender?" she asked, waltzing towards him. He chuckled.

"Me? Oh I've been around, honey. Trust me."

"I do. But what I'm asking is...have you ever made love." Charlie was standing right in front of him, running her finger down his chest, back up again, down one arm... "Have you ever been teased to the point where every touch made you crave more?"

Her voice was low, and sultry. She noticed that his breath hitched. "Have you ever been _worshipped_. Ever felt someone squirm beneath you, begging for more and you give it to them?" Charlie leaned up and whispered in Bender's ear, her lips brushing it ever so slightly; "Have you ever been with someone because you actually cared?"

Bender turned his head slowly, eyes locking with hers. Their faces were inches apart-

"I said leave her alone." Andrew interjected.


	9. Chapter 7: Of Elephantitis and Virtues

Both teens snapped back and stepped away from each other. Bender faced Andrew. "You gonna make me?"

The latter nodded slightly. "Yeah."

Bender walked over to where he was standing- they both were sizing each other up. "You and how many of your friends?"

"Just me." Andrew was full of confidence. "Just you, and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal."

Bender smiled condescendingly and went to tap Andrew on the cheek, but the wrestler grabbed his arm and got Bender down on the ground, pinning him almost instantly.

"Stop it!" Charlie ordered, pulling on Andrew's hoodie.

"I don't wanna get into this with you man..." Bender said from the ground.

"Why not?" Andrew got up off of him.

Bender soon followed suite. "'Cause I'd kill you. It's real simple. I'd kill you, and your fucking parents would sue me and it would be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother."

Andrew scrunched up his nose. "Chicken shit." He turned to walk away, but spun back around when he heard the sound of a switchblade open.

"John..." Charlie said softly. "Put it away..."

Bender winked at her before stabbing it into one of the desks. The quiet girl pried it loose and tucked it away in her backpack.

"Let's end this right now." Andrew spat. "You don't talk to her...you don't look at her, and you don't even think about her! You understand me?"

Bender glanced at Claire. "I'm trying to help her." His eyes darted over to Charlie. "And I'm just trying to get to know _her_."

Suddenly they all heard the door open, and all darted back to random seats that looked even more suspicious than them standing. But instead of Vernon in all his squeaky, greasy, cruel glory was Carl. A deep contrast to Principal Vernon; Carl was one of the nicest people Charlie had ever met.

She would sometimes pass his picture in the Glory Hall, and often wondered how a student like him had become a janitor.

"Brian, how you doing?" he asked Brian with a friendly smile.

"Your dad works here?" Bender asked him, and Brian's ears turned pink.

"Hey Chuckie," Carl called over to Charlie. They had gotten to know each other while she was pregnant- mostly because morning sickness had hit her like a ton of bricks and lasted throughout most afternoons.

Thus the name, 'Chuckie', thought more as in 'Up Chuck' than anything else.

"How's Johnny doing?" he continued. "I could call Ellie and see if she could come and pick him up."

Ellie was Carl's wife, and was once more one of the kindest people Charlie knew. They were actually to be Johnny's god parents. Granted most would say that Charlie didn't know them _that_ well, but they adored her son. They would take care of him, and that was good enough for her.

"He's fine." Charlie called back. "Mostly sleeping. I think the neighbors kept him up again."

"You know that spare room's still available." Carl reminded her.

"Aw c'mon, you know me." Charlie joked. "My stubborn German genes refuse. But my polite British ones say thank you."

"Uh, Carl?" Bender asked.

Carl's demeanor changed; as it did whenever he encountered a student like Bender. "What?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"...Sure..."

"How does one become a janitor?"

Carl raised an eyebrow. "You wanna be a janitor?"

"No, I just wanna know how one _becomes_ a janitor." Bender clarified. "Because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts..."

"Oh really," Yep, Carl really hated kids like Bender. Then again what janitor wouldn't? "You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Serf? Peon? Huh? Maybe so, but after following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years I've learned a couple of things." He smirked. "I look through your letters, your lockers..."

Bender looked panicked- he must have had something pretty important in his locker.

"I listen to your conversations, you don't know that, but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends."

Carl started to push his cart out, Charlie stood, applauding. "Brava! Bravisima! Stupenda!" she shouted. Carl chuckled and shook his head.

"I'll see you later, Chuck. If you need a ride I'm here 'till five."

"Thanks Carl."

"By the way, that clock's twenty minutes fast."

There was a collective groan as Charlie sat back down. Bender was looking at her funny. "What?" she questioned.

" 'Chuck'?"

"Like upchuck." She explained. "You know, vomit?"

Bender took a moment to look disgusted. "So...you're best friends with the janitor...and his nickname for you refers to vomit?"

Charlie shrugged and half-smiled. "Carl and his wife helped me out a few times over the past couple of months."

Johnny had decided to make his presence known to the world with a cry. One whiff of air within five feet of him was explanation enough.

Charlie was just about to move to the back of the library to change him when Vernon entered the room, accompanied by Bender's whistling rendition of Beethoven's 5th.

"Where do you think you're going?" Vernon glared. "Sit down!"

"I was going to the back to change my son's diaper." Charlie explained, and began walking. "Or I could do it in your office, if you'd like, sir."

In the time it took Charlie to change and dispose of Johnny's business, Vernon had sent Andrew and the quiet girl off to get drinks. Claire was sitting at the base of the statue staring off into space, Bender was flipping through a book and Brian sat next to him.

Bender was in the process of enlightening Claire about elephantitus of the nuts.

"...ould you ever consider dating a guy like this?" he asked her.

"Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Showing off Vernon's yearbook photos?" Charlie asked, bouncing and rocking Johnny.

"I mean if he had a great personality, and was a good dancer and had a cool car..." Bender chuckled. "Although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun."

"You know what I wish I was doing?" Claire asked to no one in particular. Charlie rolled her eyes and began to hum a soft lullaby, thinking about feeding Johnny soon.

"Op, watch what you say." Bender said. "Brian here is a cherry."

_**Hush-a-bye, don't you cry...**_

"A cherry?" Brian asked.

_**Go to sleep little baby...**_

"I wish I was on a plane to France..."_ Don't we all, Claire. Don't we all..._ Charlie thought, still humming to Johnny.

"I'm not a cherry." Brian insisted.

Not really caring about his and Bender's conversation, Charlie sat by Claire. She would play nice with the Princess.

"What would you do in France?" she asked.

"Shop, a lot." Claire smiled. "Visit some landmarks...The Eiffel Tower..."

"I'd love to visit the countryside." Charlie rocked babbling Johnny. "War memorials...beaches...I'd kill to go to the opera house in Paris."

"Why's that?"

Charlie grinned. "Have you ever heard of le Fantome de l'Opéra by Gaston Leroux?" Claire shook her head no. "He wrote a story about a beautiful opera singer named Christine. Christine had befriended an 'Angel of Music' who coached her. One day he took her to his lair beneath the opera house. But her tutor was no Angel. He was a devil in disguise- wore a mask to hide his hideous, corpse-like face."

Claire's eyes were wide. "What happened to her?"

Charlie, still smirking, shook her head. "No way, I'm not spoiling the ending- it's the best part!"

"Oh, you and Claire did it!" they heard Bender say.

Claire spun around. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothin', nothin'!" Brian backpedaled, before turning to Bender. "Let's just drop it; we'll talk about it later."

"No! Drop what?" Claire persisted. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, Brian's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area that you and he are currently riding the hobby horse."

Claire scrunched her nose up. "Little pig."

"Really Brian?" Charlie rolled her eyes.

"No I'm not!" Brian insisted. "John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't- that's it! That's all that was said!"

"Well then what were you motioning to Claire for?" Bender asked, loving the chance to raise a little hell.

"You know I don't appreciate this very much, Brian."

"He is lying!" Brian tried to convince Claire.

"Oh you weren't motioning to Claire?" Bender asked. "Oh so it was Charlie then?"

"Seriously Brian?" Charlie sighed. "I thought you were better than that!"

"You know he's lying, right?" Brian pleaded.

"Were you or were you not motioning to Charlie?" Bender questioned.

"Yeah." Brian confessed. "But it was only...was only because I didn't want them to know I was a virgin, okay?" Bender just stared at him. "Excuse me for being a virgin. I'm sorry..."

Claire laughed. "Why didn't you want us to know you were a virgin?"

"Because it's personal business. It's my personal, private, business."

Charlie reached over and squeezed Brian's hand. "Nothing at all wrong with being a virgin, hon." She smiled. From the corner of her eye, she could see Bender giving her a surprised look. "God knows I miss it."

"Really?" Brian asked, ears turning slightly pink.

"I think it's okay for a guy to be a virgin..." Claire added, smiling at Brian.

"Sure." Charlie agreed. "Makes him seem like a romantic gentleman..." she stared off into the middle distance.

"You like that sort of thing?" Bender asked.

"I've yet to meet a girl that doesn't like a little romance every once and a while." Charlie shrugged. "Not all the time. Maybe he gives her his jacket when it's cold out, treats her to dinner, walks her home and doesn't expect her to invite him in afterwards..."

Bender seemed to take her words into account, and the quartet waited for Andrew and the other girl's return in silence.


	10. Chapter 8: Halvsies

Later, everyone was back at the desks they started in, other than Bender who sat between Claire and Andrew. Charlie had already draped a blanket over her shoulder and was feeding Johnny.

Claire pulled out a silver shopping bag and pulled out a wooden board. "What's in there?" Bender asked.

Claire raised an eyebrow. "Guess." She shrugged and looked down to see Bender, lunchless. "Where's your lunch."

He glanced over to Charlie before smirking at Claire. "The kid's sucking on it."

"You're nauseating." She said monotonously.

Bender reached over and took one of the Cokes that were sitting on the desk in front of him and tossed it to the girl in the back. Not looking up from the record she held in her hand, she caught it.

Claire took out the rest of her lunch, Bender watching over her shoulder. "What's that?" he asked.

"Sushi." Claire replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

_Because Bender totally looks like the kind of guy that would know that._ Charlie thought.

"Su-shi?" he repeated.

Claire laughed a bit (_at least this time she doesn't sound snotty_) "It's rice, raw fish and seaweed." She said, picking up her chopsticks.

Only ever having tried it once at a fancy dinner party with her parents, Charlie wasn't really a fan of the stuff. She preferred the Chinese take out her mom would sometimes bring home from work when they lived together.

Andrew and Brian were staring; the former glanced at Bender to see what his response would be. Bender was floundering, looking partly disgusted, and partly shocked that this was an actual thing people ate.

"You won't accept a guys' tongue in your mouth...and you're gonna eat that?"

"Can I eat?" Claire was getting impatient.

Bender wrinkled his nose. "I dunno...give it a try..."

Andrew began unpacking his lunch; from a paper bag he produced a couple of sandwiches, a full sized bag of potato chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies and a carton of milk.

He caught Bender staring at him (so was everyone else in the room) just as a slurping sound came from the back of the room. "What's your problem?" Andrew asked.

"Could I please have your metabolism?" Charlie asked, glancing at all the food. "Seriously, is this what wrestling does to you?"

"Whaddaya mean?" Andrew asked.

Before Charlie could reply, there was a loud _slap_ behind her and she turned just in time to see a piece of sandwich meat fall from the statue. The girl who's name no one knew was pouring Pixie Sticks onto her bread, and then topped it off with dry Cap'n Crunch before pressing the two slices together.

Seeing that everyone was staring at her, she looked defiantly at them before taking a large bite.

Charlie- seeing that Johnny had finished eating, covered her breast underneath the blanket and burped him. Deciding that he was tired, Johnny rubbed his eyes with his tiny fist, earning a smile from his mother.

Meanwhile, Bender had been unpacking Brian's lunch for him, and stood up.

"Here's my impression of life at Big Bri's house..." Bender announced. "**Son!**" he called in a loud voice.

"_Yeah dad?"_ he pressed his fingers to his cheeks to act like dimples, and spoke in a kiddie voice.

"**How's your day pal?!"**

"_Gread dad! How's yours?"_

"**Super. Say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?"** Everyone was chuckling, but Brian was half hearted about it.

"_Great dad, but I've got homework to do."_

"**That's alright son, you can do it on the boat!"**

"_Gee!"_

"_**Dear,"**_ Bender's voice became quiet and motherly_**. "Isn't our son swell?"**_

"**Yes dear, isn't life swell?"**

Charlie got a feeling in the pit of her stomach that made the smile drop. Just then, Bender mimed the mother kissing the father, the father kissing the mother...

...and then the father punching the mother in the face. As if the whole 'loving family' disgusted him.

"Alright, what about your family?" Andrew asked.

"Andy, don't." Charlie hissed.

"No. I wanna know about your family." He insisted to Bender.

"Oh mine?" Bender questioned, the feeling in Charlie's gut growing stronger. She stood and walked over to Bender, putting her hand on his arm.

"You don't have to." She said.

"Don't you wanna know too?" he asked her, pulling his arm away more gently than he would have were it someone else. "It's real easy."

"**Stupid."** He said, pointing at the air. Everyone knew it was Bender's father speaking to him**. "Worthless, no good, God damned freeloading son of a bitch!"**

"Bender..." Charlie tried.

"**Retarded, bigmouth, know it all, asshole, jerk!"**

Bender changed his posture and began speaking as his mother.

"_**You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful-"**_

Suddenly his hand flew up. "**Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie!"**

"John..." Charlie's voice shook.

"But what about you dad?" Bender asked as himself.

"**Fuck you..."**

"No dad, what about you?"

"**Fuck you."**

"No dad- WHAT ABOUT YOU?!"

"**FUCK YOU!"**

Bender's 'father's fist hit the air and Bender jerked back as if he was hit.

Charlie felt her throat close up and tears swim in her eyes.

"Is that for real?" Brian asked.

"You wanna come over sometime?" Bender asked him.

"That's bullshit." Andrew sighed. "It's all part of your image. I don't believe a word of it."

"Andrew, stop!" Charlie choked out.

Bender looked at him, genuinely hurt. "You don't believe me?"

"No."

"No?"

"Did I stutter?"

Bender walked over to Andrew and lifted his right sleeve. Charlie clapped her hand over her mouth when she saw the burn scar.

"Do you believe this? Huh?" Bender asked. "It's about the size of a cigar- Do I stutter?! You see, this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage."

Charlie stepped out of his way as he rolled his sleeve back down and walked backwards away from them all.

"See I don't think I need to sit with you fuckin' dildos anymore!" he walked over to the map table and shoved the maps onto the floor. He used the bare table to climb up to the second floor balcony.

Charlie wiped her eyes and lifted Johnny's carrier onto Brian's table. "Watch him please."

"You shouldn't have said that." She heard Claire tell Andrew.

"Where are you going?" Brian asked.

"How could I know, I mean he lies about everything anyway?" Andrew replied to Claire.

"To go and talk to him." Charlie said to Brian before grabbing her lunch and glaring at Andrew. "Andrew, I get it. You're a sports star, your parents and your team probably put a lot of pressure on you. They want you to be the very best.

"But that does not give you the right to assume _anything_ about people. Since coming into this room, John has told you nothing but the truth! Not to mention that I don't know him any better than you, but I can still see that he would never _ever _lie about his home life like that. Smarten up, jockstrap."

And with that, Charlie marched up the stairs to the balcony to sit next to Bender.

"What do you want?" he snapped. "Wanna call me out on something? Yes, this is my natural hair color. No, I've never sucked a dick. Anything else, Momma?"

Charlie smiled sadly. She reached through the bars in front of her and pushed a strand of silver hair from Bender's face. "Well, if this is all natural, you're going grey pretty young." She said. "And you don't strike me as gay...But there is one question I have."

Bender sighed quite loudly. "And what could that be?"

Charlie pulled a pastrami sandwich on a long bun and two Cokes from her lunch bag. "Wanna half it?" she held up the sandwich.

Bender looked shocked for a moment, but a smile broke out across his face. "Sure, Charlotte."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Don't call me that."

Bender took his half of the sandwich from her. "Why not?"

"I only allow really close people to call me that." She shrugged. She felt Bender's warm body slide closer, his arm wrapping around her waist. Charlie fought a shiver when she felt his breath on her ear.

"Is this close enough?"

Charlie looked at him in his eyes, his big...cinnamon colored eyes... "Yeah, I guess this is close enough, John..." she whispered.

The two ate in a comfortable silence; his arm never leaving her waist. Both teens found that neither really minded.


	11. Chapter 9: Operation Don't Get Busted

Chapter 9

Charlie didn't know what possessed her to go along with the group to Bender's locker. But there she was, sneaking out of the library with the rest of them, leaving Johnny with a rattle.

Bender had his arm linked with hers and was skipping down the hall. Claire hurried behind them. "How do you know where Vernon went?" she asked him.

"I don't."

"Well then, how do you know when he'll be back?"

"I don't." Bender looked down at Charlie. "Being bad feels pretty good, huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "We are so screwed."

Moments later they arrived at Bender's locker. He opened it and a miniature guillotine sliced the end off of a shoe.

"Sharp..." Charlie commented.

"Slob!" Andrew added.

"My maids on vacation." Bender deadpanned, fishing out a large paper bag, from which he pulled out another, and another until all that was left from the Paper Bag Nesting Doll was a bag of weed.

"Drugs..." Brian chocked.

"Screw that Bender, put it back!" Andrew ordered.

Bender held his arm out for Charlie to take; she just rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs. The rest of the group soon followed behind them.

"We'll cross through the lab, and then we'll double back." Bender instructed.

"You better be right, if Vernon cuts us off it's your fault, asshole!"

Brian started to say something, but was cut off at a sight that made Charlie's stomach drop; Vernon was down the hall. The group took off at lightning speed, but it seemed that Vernon was around every corner.

"Wait! Wait- hold it!" Bender panted. "Hold it! We have to go through the cafeteria!"

"No, the activities hall!" Andrew insisted.

"Hey man, you don't know what you're talking about!" Bender said.

"No, you don't know what you're talking about!"

The quiet girl made a noise, urging them to hurry.

"Now we're through listening to you. We're going this way."

Claire, Brian, Andrew and the quiet girl went off to the activities hall, and Charlie was about to go too when Bender grabbed her arm.

"Wait," he said. "They block that part of the school off to keep people from running freely all around. Go back through the cafeteria."

"Come on, let's go then!" Charlie started to pull him in the other direction.

"I've gotta bail their asses out of this first."

Charlie bit her lip, and then leaned in quick, kissing Bender's cheek. "Be careful."

Bender's eyes lit up with his smile. "Anything you say, Charlie."

Charlie ran through the deserted cafeteria, but slowed when she got to the auto shop. She had taken it the year before, so she knew exactly where the tools she wanted were. She hurried and grabbed a metal file, solder- which was a thin metal wire that was used for electrical jobs, and a soldering iron.

Charlie could see the library, but ducked behind a locker when she heard someone approaching. Running down the hall opposite her was Bender, singing at the top of his lungs.

"...fore the day I die, there are five things I wanna ride! Rifle, life boat, automobile. Vernon's mother and a Ferris wheel..."

Charlie stifled her giggle and snuck back into the library. As she passed by Andrew, she shook her head at him. "You are an idiot."

Andrew said nothing in reply. Charlie found an electrical outlet where she plugged in the soldering iron, behind a potted plant.

She was about to take out the screws Bender had taken from the door when Vernon shoved Bender through it.

"Get your stuff, let's go!" the principal ordered. "Mr. Wiseguy here has taken it upon himself to go to the gymnasium. I'm sorry to inform you that you're going to be without his services for the rest of the day."

"B-O-O H-O-O." Bender spelled.

"Everything's a big joke, huh Bender? The false alarm you pulled, Friday? False alarms are really funny, aren't they? What if your home," Nope. "What if your family-" Still nothing. "What if your dope was on fire?"

"Impossible sir." Bender shrugged. "It's in Johnson's underwear."

Andrew laughed, earning a glare from Vernon. "You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's bitchin'? Is that it? Lemme tell you something. Look at him! He's a bum!

"You wanna see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years! You'll see how God damned funny he is!" Vernon snapped his gaze to Bender. "What's the matter, you gonna cry?"

_Don't hit him John._ Charlie prayed. _He's not worth it._

"What's the matter, John? You gonna cry?" Vernon taunted.

"Lay off him!" Charlie shouted, standing to meet her principal's cold gaze.

"What?"

"Leave him alone!" she spat. "John may not have the most money, best grades or be a star athlete. He may not be another one of those cookie cutter students you love. But he is one of the most genuine men I've ever met- and he's a bigger man that you will ever be!

"Do _you_ wanna hear something funny, _Principal Vernon?_ You. You are hilarious! Did you ever have a conscience? Because picking on a _student_ doesn't seem right. Neither does taunting him and pushing him around. Is this what you hoped to accomplish in your life? Because that's just sad."

"Charlie." Bender said quietly. "Leave it alone."

"No John!" Charlie felt warm tears running down her face as she yelled at an expressionless Vernon. "Why don't I share with you why I'm here today? Last year I was raped. After school, under the bleachers during a damn _football practice!_ I asked this man for help, but he was bribed by the bastard's _parents_ to keep quiet.

"No one believed me. They thought I wanted attention. Yesterday the same bastard was trying it on another girl, I tried to stop him-" Charlie was almost sobbing, all eyes were on her. "He shoved me away. I kicked him in the nuts. Next thing I know I'm sitting in _your_ damn office, with you telling me that I assaulted a student with no grounds.

"So, Dickwad. Promptly piss off and stop blaming us for your sad, pathetic life!"

"Charlotte..." Bender whispered. His expression was hard and angry, but also...empathetic?

"Let's go." Vernon grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey, keep your fuckin' hands off me!" Bender wrenched himself back. "I expect better manners from you, Dick!" He took his scarf and walked over to Charlie, wrapping it loosely around her. "I'll be back." His voice was barely a whisper; she closed her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Charlie sat down, still shaking, and hugged the scarf close. She didn't know how much time passed, but she could hear Johnny begin to cry and Brian murmur soft words and sounds to hush him.

She felt something wipe her cheek, and saw Claire smiling softly. Removing the tears with a tissue- more of which the quiet girl was pulling from her bag.

"Who did it?" Andrew asked.

"D-Davies." Charlie croaked, before clearing her throat. "Stewart Davies."

Andrew clenched his fist. "He won't be bothering you ever again. Or anyone else."

Charlie smiled softly. "Thank you. Everyone. I didn't mean to blow up like that-"

"OH SHIT!" there was a loud crash from the back of the library. Soon, acting like nothing happened, Bender waltzed over to them. "I forgot my pencil." Was his only explanation. Charlie started to laugh when they all heard Vernon shouting.

Bender dove beneath Charlie's table while everyone else returned to their seats.

"What was that ruckus?" Vernon entered, shouting.

"Uh, what ruckus?" Andrew asked.

"I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus!"

"Could you describe the ruckus, sir?" Brian asked.

"Watch your tongue young man, watch it!"

Charlie glanced down quickly and saw Bender try and shift his position. Instead he managed to bang his head on the desk with a groan. Everyone tried covering it up with various banging sounds.

Charlie looked over to Johnny and saw he had his pacifier in his mouth. Perfect.

"What is that? What, what is that, what is that noise?" Vernon questioned.

Under the table, Charlie felt Bender slide his hand up her leg. She gasped just as Claire said there wasn't any noise. She bit her lip but a small moan escaped it.

Starting with Claire, everybody began faking a coughing fit. That was enough distraction for Charlie to pry the pacifier from Johnny's mouth without Vernon's notice, making him cry.

"Shut that thing up!" Vernon yelled. "Now I may not have caught you in the act this time, but I will."

The quiet girl laughed.

Vernon pointed at the offender. "You make book on that missy!" he turned to Claire. "I will not be made a fool of!" Vernon turned and walked away. Which would have been quite serious and dramatic, were it not for the plastic toilet seat cover on his pants.

Everyone laughed, even Charlie, who was smacking Bender's back as he crawled out from beneath the table.

"It was an accident." He defended.

"You're an asshole!"

"Sue me." Bender started to walk over to Brian.

"Never said I didn't like it." Charlie called over.


	12. Chapter 10:Kybo Mein Doobage

"So, Ahab." Bender said down to Brian. "Kybo Mein Doobage?"

Brian thought for a moment and then realized the cargo he had in his pants. He pulled out the bag of pot and handed it to Bender, who pinched the end with his finger.

"Yo wasteoid." Andrew called. "You're not gonna blaze up in here!"

"John?" Charlie added. "I don't mind, but could you keep it at the back? That stuff's worse for the baby than you."

Bender saluted her and then proceeded to the back of the library. Claire soon followed, and then Brian.

"Shit." Andrew muttered, going after them.

Charlie moved her things over to the quiet girl. "Hey." She smiled. "We haven't met yet. I'm Charlie." The girl didn't say anything. "What' your name?"

She hesitated. "Allison."

The girls started talking about books and art and whatnot when Charlie remembered the soldering iron. It was piping hot by the time she got to it. She sat on the ground with her knees folded in and set to work; filing down the sharp edges of the screws, taking out her cheap stud earrings and soldering the sharp end of the screw to the flat metal star shape.

During this time, she could hear the rest of the group raising a minor hell. Soon after she finished and unplugged the iron, Allison had gone back there. And Johnny began whimpering for some attention.

Bender was brushing his teeth with some brush he'd taken from Claire's purse. Meanwhile she was flipping through his wallet. "Are these your girlfriends?" she asked.

"Some of them..." In reality, they were just pictures he'd cut out of the yearbook of girls he'd thought were hot and slutty enough to be with him.

"What about the others?"

"Well, some I consider my girlfriends and some..." Bender inspected his teeth. "I just consider."

"Consider what?"

"Whether or not I wanna hang out with them..."

"You don't believe in just one guy, one girl?" Claire asked.

"Do you?"

"Yeah. That's the way it should be."

"Well not for me."

Claire smirked wickedly. "What about Charlie?"

"What about her?" Bender acted indifferent.

"You like her."

"She's alright."

"Would you consider monogamy for her?" Bender remained silent. "Why not?" Claire pushed.

He did not want to be having this conversation with the princess. "How come you got so much shit in your purse?"

"How come you got so many girlfriends?" she shot back.

"I asked you first."

"I dunno," Claire shrugged. "I guess I never throw anything away."

"Neither do I." He smirked.

A while later, they were all sitting in a circle in the library's mane room. Charlie sat across from Bender with Johnny in her lap, amusing himself with her finger.

"What would I do for a million bucks?" Andrew began answering Claire's question. "Well, I guess I'd do as little as I had to."

Claire and Charlie made protesting noises. "That's boring." Claire groaned.

"Well, how'm I s'pposed to answer?" he asked.

"The idea is to like, search your mind for the absolute limit."

"Like, I would flash the White House, or paint Vernon's car Barbie Doll Pink." Charlie suggested.

"Like uh, would you drive to school naked?" Claire asked Andrew.

He laughed. "Um, would I have to get out of the car?"

"Of course!"

"In the spring or winter?"

"Doesn't matter, spring."

"No no no, winter." Charlie cut in, and then mouthed "Shrinkage." To Claire.

"In front of the school or in the back of the school?"

"Either one."

"Yes."

"I'd do that." Allison piped in. All eyes turned to her. "I'll do anything sexual." She smirked. "I don't need a million dollars to do it either..."

"You're lying." Claire deadpanned.

"I already have." Allison continued. "I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac."

Charlie looked at the ground and bit her cheek. Claire rolled her eyes. "Lie."

"Are you're parents aware of this?" Brian asked, shocked.

"The only person I told was my shrink..."

"And what he do when you told him?" Andrew asked.

"He nailed me."

Charlie closed her eyes and tried to block out the conversation that she did _not _need to hear. She thought she was okay after all that time, all of the banter about it. But still...she was still scared...

"Charlie?" someone nudged her foot. Bender was looking at her with concern in his eyes. Claire and Allison were still continuing with their sex talk.

"It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it?" the latter asked the former.

"A what?"

"Well, if you say you haven't...you're a prude. If you say you have you're a-" Allison cut herself off and looked at Charlie for a split second before turning her head away.

"A slut." Charlie said. "You can say it. I don't care anymore." _I care. _She thought. _Oh God I care so bad it hurts._

"It's a trap..." Allison continued. "You want to but you can't, but when you do you wish you didn't, right?"

_Right. _"Wrong." Claire said.

Suddenly everyone was calling Claire a tease, she and Allison went at it for another moment, then sex was her weapon and was she a virgin or wasn't she, come on Claire- Come on, tell us. Tell us. Come on. Come on!

"No!" Claire screamed. "I never did it!"

Charlie was almost shaking, almost thinking about it. She couldn't think about it. She couldn't.

"I never did it either." Allison confessed. "I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar."

Claire called her a bitch, weird, yelling at Allison for lying to make her say something she didn't want to say in the first place.

"Would you please stop it?!" Charlie shrieked, and then fussed over Johnny, who hadn't uttered a word during the whole argument. Hell, their neighbors argued all the time, this was nothing for him. "Do you have any idea of what you're even talking about?" she said, this time more quietly.

"Well aren't you a hypocrite." Claire accused.

"You really believe it, don't you?" Charlie looked at her in wonderment. "You honestly think I'm a slut."

"I heard the stories." Claire looked down at Johnny. "And I see the proof. I may be a tease, but you are a slut."

"I'm not a slut." Charlie set her jaw and took a deep breath. "I'm a liar. And I was raped."


	13. Chapter 11

The room went completely silent. While it had been brought up before, it seemed to snap everyone- Claire especially- back into reality.

"You forgot already? See, I thought you were better than this Claire." Charlie started.

"I used to live in Canada. But my dad's work transferred us here. And it was fine, big house, nice neighborhood. But I didn't know anyone at school, so I joined the drama club.

"You were kind of right about drama club, Claire. Only it wasn't where people went to have sex, it was where they went to talk about it. I seemed to be the only one there without any experience, so..." Charlie breathed in. "I lied. I told a few stories of some guys from my old school I was positive no one would know about. Rumors spread, people knew me, I was kind of popular. But you guys already know what kind of attention I got..."

Charlie sniffed and wiped her eyes, which were growing moist. "When I found out I was pregnant, I told my parents. Mom stayed at home with me and offered me wine- I told her no, I didn't want to hurt the baby. Dad had gone out, and when he came back he said that he'd made an appointment for me. I asked what for. He said they were going to get that thing out of me. He called my baby a thing!"

Charlie couldn't look at any of the people surrounding her. "I moved out, got a crappy job with a crappy apartment... So am I still a slut Claire? Am I a dumb whore that sleeps with everyone she locks eyes with?"

Someone pulled on her feet. Bender pulled Charlie across the circle and hugged her close. She pulled away after a moment, but remained seated in between his legs, her head resting on his chest.

"That's all...pretty convenient..." Claire murmered.

"What, you saying you don't believe her?" Bender asked defensively.

"No, just...it's pretty bizarre..."

"What's bizarre?" Andrew asked. "I mean we're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."

"How are you bizarre?"

"He can't think for himself." Allison answered.

Andrew launched into the story of how he got to be in Saturday Detention: the Taping of Larry Lester's Buns...

By the end of the story, Charlie felt her eyes sting with tears. She'd been too hard on Andrew, sure while he acted like a dick most of the time, she hadn't thought too much about how much pressure was put on him.

Once he was finished, Bender said quietly; "I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling. Charlie's parents can bring snacks."

Andrew laughed.

"It's like me, you know with my grades...like when I, when I step outside my self kinda, and when I- when I look at myself, you know? And I see me and I don't like what I see, I really don't." Brian said.

Charlie realized something about Brian when he told them all about Shop class. He took it because he thought that it'd be easy- and you needed to take at least one technical or arts course for your diploma. Poor Brian had been crying out for attention all day, and had been casually dismissed nine times out of ten.

All those times where he awkwardly piped in, because he didn't want to be alone and ignored. Charlie thought he must have gotten enough of that. He wanted to input his opinion, a luxury his parents probably didn't give him.

"I can write with my toes." Allison said suddenly. "I can also eat, brush my teeth..."

"With your feet?" Claire clarified.

"...Play Heart and Soul on the piano." The other girl smiled.

"I can make spaghetti!" said Brian.

Claire turned to Andrew. "What can you do?"

"I can, uh, tape all your buns together." The jock blushed pink. "What about you Charlie?"

"I...Hm." she thought, and then an idea struck her. She passed the baby to Bender, stood and ran over to where she knew a battered copy of Romeo and Juliet lay. She tossed it at Brian and told him a page number. "Read Benvolio's lines."

"Um, 'Romeo, my cousin Romeo.'" He read, voice cracking a bit.

As Mercutio, Charlie hopped up on a desk. " 'He is wise, and on my life hath stolen him home to bed.'" She acted out most of the short scene, lines fluent and strong as if Elizabethan was her first language.

She even threw in a few sexual jokes that made even Bender crack a smile.

"'I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright..." she looked down at her breasts and winked. "' 'eyes.''"...Because when you first meet a guy, your eyes are what he looks at first."

She sat down after their 'roaring' applauses, and Johnny's giggle of approval as he was handed back to her. "Thank you, thank you, and no autographs please." Charlie, still giggling, looked up at Claire. "Your turn."

"I can't do anything." She shrugged.

"Now, everybody can do something." Bender said dryly, and then in a quieter tone meant for Charlie "Though they can't always make Shakespeare sexy."

"Well, if you're into that sort of thing, Bender..." Charlie 'pondered'. "I suppose a guy born in the seventeenth century who probably wore tights more often than Andrew could be considered sexy."

There was a collective giggle when the attention was turned back to Claire. "There's one thing I can do- no." She shook her head and blushed. "Forget it, it's way too embarrassing."

"You ever seen Wild Kingdom? I mean, that guy's been doing that show for thirty years..." Bender said, and then nudged Charlie's side.

"Okay," Claire agreed. "But you have to swear to God you won't laugh...I can't believe I'm actually doing this..."

She took out her lipstick and opened it, sticking it down her shirt and bowing her head. When she lifted it again, her lips were perfect.

Everyone clapped, though Bender's was slow and sarcastic.

"Well that must cut down on time in the mornings." Charlie commented. "You can do your makeup while tying your shoes!"

"All right, great. Where'd you learn to do that?" Andrew asked.

"Camp, seventh grade." Claire answered.

"That was great Claire." Bender piped in, sarcastic as ever. "My image of you is totally blown."

Charlie turned to face him, ticked. "John-"

"You're a shit!" Allison accused. "Don't do that to her, you swore to God you wouldn't laugh."

"Am I laughing?"

"John..." Charlie's tone was warning. "Apologize. That was totally uncalled for."

"Don't act so impressed." He snapped back.

"You fucking prick!" Andrew half shouted. Johnny let out an upset whine.

"Andy hush." Charlie hissed, holding her baby closer.

"What do you care what I think anyway?" Bender's words were slow and careful. "I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference...I may we well not even exist at this school, remember?"

"Jesus Bender, don't act like nothing's changed since this morning!" Charlie hissed at him. "Don't act like you, or Andy, or any of us hasn't changed since we walked in here. You know what I wonder? I wonder how many times you passed him in the hall and thought- just for a second- what it would be like if you were him? Or if you had Claire's parents? That maybe they were different, and didn't fucking feel the things you feel."

Charlie's eyes stung and she felt warm tears pool down her cheeks. "Well guess what Bender, we all have fucking feelings. We've all been hurt-and that doesn't make them any less of a person than you or me."

Bender was seething. "Don't you ever-_ever_ compare them to me! Okay?" He glared up at Claire. "You got everything and I got shit! Fuckin' Rapunzel, right? School would probably fucking shut down if she didn't show up- 'Queenie's Not Here!' "

"Shut up!" Claire ordered, causing Johnny to wail.

"Why don't you?" Bender roared, but then closed his mouth.

It was the crying that seemed to snap Bender out of his fury. He didn't do anything to try and sooth Johnny, or Charlie, but the look in his eyes...was probably as close to shame as John Bender could get (that she could see).

"My God..." Andrew whispered once Johnny had quieted. "Are we gonna be like our parents?"

"Not me..." Claire declared. "Not ever..."

" It's unavoidable." Allison deadpanned. "It just happens."

"What happens?"

"When you grow up, you're heart dies."

"Who cares?" Bender muttered.

"I care." The girl looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Brian asked the question they were all thinking of; on Monday, would they still be friends?

"So, so on Monday, what happens?"

"Are we still friends, you mean?" Claire asked. "If we're friends now, that is?"

"Yeah..."

"Do you want the truth?"

"Yeah, I want the truth..." Brian looked uncertain.

"I don't think so..."

Charlie looked down at her baby while the rest of them talked. Ideally, they would shock the school Monday morning and all sit at lunch together. Brian would sit with Andrew in class, Claire would invite Allison to go shopping, and Bender...

_Maybe Bender would ask me out. _ She thought. _Wouldn't that be a crazy day?_

"You are a BITCH!" Bender screamed at Claire.

"Why?" Claire shouted back. "'Cause I'm telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?!"

Not liking the noise, Johnny began crying again. But Bender and Claire just shouted over it while Charlie tried to sooth him.

"No! 'Cause you know how shitty that is to do to someone! And you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell 'em that you're gonna like who you wanna like!"

"Okay what about you, you hypocrite! Why don't you take Allison to one of your heavy metal vomit parties, or take Brian out to the parking lot at lunch to get high? What about Andy or Charlie, for that matter? What about me? What would your friends say if we were walking down the hall together? They'd laugh their asses off and you'd probably tell them you were doing it with me so they'd forgive you for being seen with me."

Charlie rocked Johnny, humming and cooing and praying that the yelling would end.

"And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways at school, you can forget it! 'Cause it's never gonna happen! Just bury your head in the sand, and wait for your fuckin' prom!"

"I hate you!" Claire declared.

"Yeah? Good."

And that was the end of that. Not long after, Johnny screamed his last scream and busied himself with his mother's hair.

It wasn't long after that Brian told them why he was there. Charlie didn't know what to say- happy Brian. Geeky, adorable, lovable Brian. Trying to kill himself. Over a damn elephant with a flunky trunk. This was something not even Bender would laugh at.

"It was a hand gun?" Allison asked.

"No, it was a flare gun. Went off in my locker."

"Really?" Andrew cracked a smile, and then started to laugh.

"It's not funny." Brian said seriously, but one my one they all began laughing, including him. "Yes it is...Fucking elephant was destroyed!"

Once they had sobered, Allison said "You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing. I didn't have anything better to do." Again, they all started laughing. "You're laughing at me!" she accused.

"No!" Andrew defended, and Allison started laughing too.

"Yeah you are!"

And they were, but not only that. They were laughing at Claire shopping. At Andrew taping Larry's buns. At Brian and his elephant. At Bender and his false alarms and Vernon jokes. At Charlie's right hook and at Allison, who didn't have to be there at all.


	14. Chapter 12: Sincerely Yours

All Bender could say was, Nerdo had good taste in music. It had started as them all wanting the self proclaimed 'Prima Ballerina' Claire to dance for them. But she chickened out so the rest of them joined her.

_Things look clear in black and white._

_The living color tends to dye our sight._

_Like dynamite._

_Just imagine my surprise_

_When I looked into your eyes and saw_

_Your disguise._

Charlie had seen it in him. Vulnerability, love, it was all there inside John Bender. Just hiding, hiding beneath years of torture and hate. It almost scared her, because she didn't know what to do with this new information (because there was no way she would just ignore it).

_If we dare expose our hearts_

_Just to feel the purest parts_

_That's when strange sensations start to grow._

He could have punched himself in the face. _Really John? _He asked himself. _Did you seriously just think that?_ He had one eye on Charlie and Joh- the kid, and had maybe remarked to himself that they looked...something on borderline adorable.

Okay, he'd thought they were cute. What was the big deal? It was that he didn't know what the big deal was. He'd been...feeling things, throughout the day. Feelings that people didn't really make him feel all that often.

_We are not alone._

_Find out when your cover's blown_

_There'll be somebody there to break your fall._

_We are not alone_

_'Cause when you cut down to the bone _

_We're really not so different after all._

Charlie watched Bender bop his head to the music, while he watched her bounce her baby around. Allison watched- whatever you call that thing Andrew was doing, while he watched her dance better than the rest of them. Claire had her eyes on Brian while he did her. No one noticed the other, but they probably wouldn't have cared if they did.

_After all._

_We're not alone._

Bender was getting ready to climb back up the vent when he spoke to Charlie in a hushed voice.

"So listen, Vernon's got me locked in the supply closet across the hall." He said, and with a wink climbed back up to the vents.

Later, while Brian was writing their essay and Claire was making over Allison, Charlie crept out of the library across the hall to Vernon's office.

The principal was no where to be seen, and the closet door had the key sticking out of it.

Bender was sitting with his head bowed, but it snapped up when he heard the door open. A slow smirk spread across his face. "You lost?"

Charlie replied with her best Bugs Bunny impression. "Drat, I knew I shoulda taken tha left toyne at Albaqoykee."

Bender smiled wider and stood up- he wasn't that much taller than her. "So how come you wanted to see me?" she asked.

"Who says I wanted to see you?" he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You did." Charlie grinned.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Bender chuckled almost...nervously.

Charlie didn't think about it when she leaned in to kiss him. She just leaned up and gently pressed her lips on his jaw, pulling away slowly with her eyes closed, scared of the reaction.

Bender was just staring at her when she opened her eyes. Charlie wanted to turn at least fifty shades of red and run from the room. Instead she planted her feet firmly on the ground and prayed for alien abduction.

"Why did you do that?" he asked her quietly.

"I felt like it."

Bender gingerly put his arm around Charlie and pulled her to his chest, kissing her head. "You beat me to it, Charlotte." He said.

Instead of getting on his case about her name, Charlie wrapped her arms around his torso and giggled. "I got impatient."

Bender ran his finger along her jaw and tilted her chin up. "Well, I guess I shouldn't keep you waiting."

The door opened suddenly, making Charlie jump and spin around. Carl stood in the doorway, looking amused. "I'm getting off early, thought you might like a ride. The kids in the library said you went off."

"I'll take care of her tonight, Carl." Bender assured, grinning like an idiot.

"I'm sure you will. But Vernon's on his way up, so you might wanna get outta here." Charlie followed Carl out the door with one last smile at Bender before the door was closed.

"I'm being careful." Charlie said- perhaps to herself, but really it was because Carl was becoming a fatherly figure.

"I know." He stopped her outside the library doors. "You've learned from your mistakes, Chuck. And- opposite to popular belief- Bender isn't the worst of guys."

"See you around, Carl." Charlie smiled. "I might be over later in the week with some cookies."

"I'll tell Ellie. See you around, kiddo. Oh, and here." He handed her two twenty dollar bills and a ten. "Dinner's on Vernon."

Inside the library, Brian chewed on the end of his pencil. Charlie had left Johnny with him, so he looked to the baby like he would come up with an idea for him. "How do you think I should sign it?" he asked.

"Sign what?" Charlie asked, sitting next to the boy.

"This." Brian passed her the letter. How he had managed to record exactly how everyone had felt she would never know, but there it was.

"You should sign it from all of us as a group." Charlie thought out loud when an idea hit her. "Hey Bri...remember earlier, when we were talking about clubs and things?"

He seemed to get where she was coming from. "Yeah...so the Saturday Detention Club?"

"Nah...how about-"

Brian smiled widely at the name and signed it. "Sincerely yours-"


	15. Chapter 13 Loves Strange

Not long after, Vernon came and released them. Charlie was the last to file out of the library, where Bender was waiting for her.

"Hey," he smirked, holding his arm out in front of him. "Long time no see."

"Hey there stranger." Charlie wrapped her arm around his waist and his arm went around her shoulders. Ahead of them, Allison and Andrew were walking hand in hand. Claire was having a whispered conversation with Brian, and the group passed Carl on their way out.

Bender was grinning like a fool the entire time. Brian gave the janitor a nod.

"See ya Brian."

"Hey Carl."

Bender was apparently trying to be nicer to Carl. "See you next Saturday."

"You bet." The older man winked at Charlie.

**_Won't you, come see about me?_**

**_I'll be alone, dancing, you know it baby._**

**_Tell me your troubles and doubts._**

**_Giving me everything inside and out. _**

Out in front of the school, there was a short line up of cars. With a wave to his new friends, Brian Johnson got into his father's car. That morning he had been a shy, stuttering and generally awkward teenager. At the end of the day, he was still that.

But he had made new friends that- despite Claires pessimism, he was sure would stick with him for a while.

That night when he returned home, Brian talked to his parents and make them listen to him. He made them realize the pressures they put on him were not okay, and they would get a lot of problems out on the table.

**_Love's strange_**

**_So real in the dark._**

**_Think of the tender things that we were working on._**

**_Slow change may pull us apart_**

Andrew and Allison kissed before she got into her parent's car. Sure she was all dolled up thanks to Claire, but she was far from a prep.

Allison would always be weird and quirky, but that made Andrew like her all the more. The only thing she would continue to do after Claire's makeover was tie her hair back. She wouldn't hide anymore- not begging for attention, but rather let the world see her.

And she would try and see the world. Her home life probably wouldn't change, but she had Andy, and the rest of her newfound friends.

Life...would become a little more satisfying.

**_When the light gets into your heart, baby._**

**_Don't you, forget about me._**

**_..._**

**_Will you stand above me?_**

**_Look my way, never love me?_**

**_Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling_**

**_Down..._**

**_ Down..._**

**_ Down..._**

Andrew hopped in his dad's truck silently. When he got home he got his dad a beer and told him to sit down. He'd tell him exactly why what he did wasn't because he wanted to, and he wasn't going to stop wrestling. But if the pressure and obsession didn't stop, his new life goal was to be a janitor.

It would be the wakeup call his father needed.

**_Will you recognize me?_**

**_Call my name or walk on by_**

**_Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling_**

**_Down_**

**_ Down_**

**_D_**

**_ Ow_**

**_ N_**

Charlie waved as the last of her new friends drove away.

"May I walk you home miss?" Bender said in a southern drawl.

"Why you most certainly may, sir." Charlie mimicked, taking his arm.

**_Don't you, try to pretend_**

**_It's my feeling we'll win in the end_**

**_I wont harm you or touch your defenses_**

**_Vanity and security._**

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Charlie pulled her little project out of the backpack she carried. From it she produced the screw earring.

Bender laughed. "Is that the screw?"

"I know it's no diamond earring, but..." Charlie smiled bashfully. Bender put the earring in his ear and they started walking to the football field.

**_Don't you forget about me_**

**_I'll be alone, dancing, you know it baby._**

**_Going to take you apart_**

**_I'll put us back together at heart, baby_**

Richard Vernon picked up the single paper that was left to him by those kids. No one would believe it, but he was different than when he'd first entered the building that morning.

Vernon read over the 'essay', and couldn't help but smile.

Dear Mister Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us...In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.

**_As you walk on by, will you call my name?_**

Brian smiled to himself, telling his dad about his handywork with the essay. "But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain..."

**_As you walk on by, will you call my name?_**

Andrew told his mom later that night. "...and an athlete..."

**_Will you call my name, when you walk away?_**

Allison recorded it in her journal. "And a basket case..."

**_Or will you walk away?_**

"A princess..." Claire whispered as she picked out old clothes she would be donating the next morning.

**_Will you walk on by?_**

Charlie thought it to herself looking at both of her Johns...Her baby Johnny and her boyfriend John. _A slut._

**_Come on, call my name._**

_And a criminal.._ John thought to himself.

**_Will you all my name?_**

"..._Does that answer your question?"_ Vernon read for the fifth time since he returned home. "_Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club."_

Bender stopped Charlie in the middle of the field and made her put the baby carrier down. He lifted her chin and pressed his lips lightly against hers, until she kissed back. They pulled away from each other with a smile and as they walked away, Bender threw his fist up in the air.

**_I say La_**

**_La la la la_**

**_La la la la_**

**_La-la la la-la..._**


	16. Interlude

Hey everybody

Thank you for being patient- but I've been getting lots of reviews asking if this is done or not.

No it's not. I'm being very particular about the Monday chapter, because its a huge make or break moment.

I hope to have it posted soon, don't worry lovelies.


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